Nearly two months ago (it does seem longer than that) I found out that I would not be returning to Disney as part of the Spring College Program and it left a hole in my life that I couldn’t explain nor fill. I had been floating through the months since returning home, holding onto the thought that soon I would be reunited with the friends I loved and with the job I longed for. Now, 60 days later and it seems I even farther from that truth than I was when I first started.
After being denied for the program, I applied for a full-time job with Disney and I was in fact offered a position as a Quick Service Food and Beverage Cast Member at the Caribbean Beach Resort. Unfortunately, I was unable to accept this job due to many factors, and now I must live with the consequences of my impulsivity. Had I been patient and thoughtful in my grieving process I think I would have found that it was okay for me to stay at home for a while. I think I would have eventually found comfort, and instead I have caused myself and others more heartache than perhaps necessary. On the other hand however, perhaps I needed this event to truly remind me that feeding my impulsive side is not always the answer.
It’s always hard to wait for something you really want, but if it’s worth having then it is worth waiting for. My impulsive nature and the voice inside my head that is often restless make me who I am, but I think it is important to learn how to satisfy those feelings in a controlled way. Putting limits on myself so I can learn how to explore and not also throw everything I have out the window. I was ready to move halfway across the country at the drop of a hat for something, and for someone, that I was not financially or even mentally prepared for.
So here I am in Des Moines, Iowa, sitting in a coffee shop on the edge of the interstate. 1,341 miles from where I want to be, but exactly where I need to be. I think it is important to give the transitions in our lives the appropriate room they need to grow and fully blossom. The big moments, the cornerstone events, those will be the ones we talk about with our friends, but the time between those moments is where we will find ourselves. It’s where the growing and the healing happen and where we will learn patience, love, and endurance. If I am truly brave and resolute, then I have learned those things from the walking in-between (thank you, Ben Rector).
Walt worked for what he had, he didn’t just wake up one day and suddenly he was the man behind the mouse. It took trial and error, mistake after mistake, and many periods of transition. I am setting my sights on goals this year, and one of those goals is to be content with where I am in my life. Everything will come in its perfect timing. Walt will be patiently waiting for me, and so I will too.